


With You

by LightningMcGay



Series: into the tsukkiyama-verse [2]
Category: haikyuu
Genre: Angst, M/M, The Author Apologises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 21:16:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17495516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningMcGay/pseuds/LightningMcGay
Summary: kei can’t forget tadashi.





	With You

kei barely manages to get himself out of bed this morning. he can’t skip work, he knows he has to go, has bills to pay.

 

tadashi always played songs when he got ready for work. “they make you feel better, kei!” he used to say, laughing despite his tired eyes.

 

he glares at the radio, gets up, and starts it. there’s a soft tune playing. kei hasn’t heard it before.

 

he looks at his clothes. they’re crinkled.

 

“i keep thinking that you’ll be calling, everyone says that it’s all in my head.”

 

he turns sharply towards the radio, eyes burning a hole in it. it’s stupid. taking out his anger that way as if it’s the fault of a piece of technology that his fiancé is dead.

 

“and i can’t accept it yet, i’m not ready to just give in.”

 

he looks in the mirror. he looks like shit. tangled hair, deep bags under his bloodshot eyes, face sullen and sunken in. he hasn’t showered in what, three, four days?

 

he runs a hand through his hair, trying to untangle them, but then gives up completely. he’ll just go the way he is, he’s too tired to care.

 

“i know that i can’t live in this pain, with these feelings of regret.”

 

his phone’s screen lights up.

 

from: hinata

tsukishima!! weRE gonna meet @ cafe at 2 you want me to pick you up???!?

 

there are several calls from his brother, a few from daichi, suga, and noya, even one from kageyama and bokuto.

 

he throws the phone down like it’s burned him when he realises whose name he really is searching for.

 

he looks at the messages one more time and turns around without replying.

 

“i can’t comprehend this and pretend that i don’t care.”

 

he stiffens, sits down on the sofa. he hangs his head, his eyes fixed unblinkingly on a spot on the floor.

 

—

 

“kei, do you think we’ll ever go to another galaxy?” tadashi asks one night, as they lie under the stars, the grass soft under them.

 

“i already have one.” he replies.

 

“we all have milky way! i mean, another. another galaxy.” he exclaims, pointing to the sky excitedly.

 

kei turns his head to face tadashi, caresses his cheek softly, and looks amusedly at his freckles, “i already have one.” he repeats.

 

“you’re no fun.” tadashi pouts, unknowingly.

 

—

 

he snaps out of his flashback, wipes his eyes roughly with the sleeve of his shirt. he gets up, walks to the kitchen.

 

“any place i wanna be, i wanna see you there.”

 

his eyes sting. a lump forms in his throat. he refuses to cry.

 

he starts making coffee with shaky hands.

 

how can he live without his tadashi, his best friend? how can he move on with his life when the love of his life doesn’t get to live his? he had so many dreams, so much to live for.

 

but now he’s gone, gone with his ambitions, leaving a cold hole in kei’s heart.

 

“you took my life with you.”

 

kei has tried. he has gone to the planetarium but there’s no one beside him whose freckles he can compare to stars. he has gone to play volleyball but there’s an obvious absence of, “nice, tsukki!”. he has gone to the museum but there’s no one getting excited over every dinosaur fact he tells them. no one who shares his strawberry cake when he can’t finish it, no one to rate new songs with.

 

it’s like there’s a tadashi sized hole in his life.

 

nothing makes sense without him. he’s not living, kei realises, he’s merely surviving. waking up everyday, hoping he’ll meet his demise, and get to see his best friend again.

 

“took my world with you.”

 

hands shaking, he pours two cups of coffee.


End file.
